All our trains

Identifying a new pattern for family inter-connectedness

When our family took an epic trip to Switzerland last summer, we traveled around by train. A lot. Jon, in his wisdom, knew the value of simple and convenient train travel, so we sprang for rail passes for the whole family and arranged our housing within easy distance of train stations. The Swiss rail system is remarkably clean, safe, and timely, so we all quickly grew to appreciate this feature of Switzerland’s landscape and public infrastructure.

We had a view of the train running through the Lauterbrunnen Valley during our stay in Wengen.

Our family comes from a long line of train aficionados on both sides, and so we regularly took photos and videos of the heavy metal rolling in and out of stations to send to Jon’s dad and my brother. The joy of trains run strong with the Boyds.

Changing trains at Interlaken Ost.

As the whole family became more familiar with the Swiss rail system, we began to split up, sending one or two of us off on different paths depending on preferences and needs. I might take a short train ride to pick up breakfast pastries, or Jon and Lucy might go on a hike together while Rosie and I headed back home for some R&R.

Rosie communes with Lucy through the train window as we see our eldest off to Bern for the day.

One day, we put Lucy on a train to explore the city of Bern on her own while Jon, Rosie, and I rode a separate train just over the border into Italy. (Rosie felt pretty pleased that day, knowing that she had been to more countries than her sister.)

Sisters at rest, en route to Paris.

The staff on the trains were always kind, helpful, and courteous — with one notable exception of a grumpy conductor on our trip to Basil. It’s surprising how much we remember this single fellow and his gruff, inflexible demeanor. Perhaps he was just having a bad day, but his unfriendliness colored that particular leg of the journey — and it made us grateful for the more accommodating attendants we’d encountered on so many other train rides.

Linda, Eve, Lucy, and I took the train downtown to the Chicago Women’s March a few months ago.

After our summer trip, as we prepared to send Lucy off to college, I started praying a prayer that felt a little quirky, but also spoke to me. “Lord, bless us on all our trains today, and may the conductors be kind.” This image of all of us on different trains somehow helped put a finger on the new movement of our family — sometimes together in varying combinations, sometimes all separate and moving in individual directions.

In July, we rode the Paris Métro, dropping Rosie off at the Louvre while Jon and I went exploring for a couple of hours.

This new ease of coming and going seemed to echo the pattern of hopping on those Swiss trains as our family members scooted off on adventures and returned back again in due time. As we each follow our paths, we’re dependent on the infrastructures and the people in our midst, trusting that the trains will run reliably and that those in authority will treat our loved ones with compassion. My prayer is sometimes quite literal — Jon travels to his office by train a couple times each week — but more often it’s metaphorical, hopeful, and always earnest.

Jon is rarely happier than when he is riding a Swiss train and gazing out of the open window.

Last week, Lucy has headed off on another epic adventure: a seven-week study abroad program in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Lucy has planned for years to study in another country, and this Wheaton-College-based program seemed like the perfect way to get a sense of this experience before embarking on a full semester away. The past weeks and months have been full of all the details that come with planning a trip like this — Lucy has managed all the arrangements and packing very capably while Jon and I did our best to offer support and a non-anxious presence.

Lucy in the Miami airport, ready to board her flight to Buenos Aires.

Lucy’s departure was a bit tearful for me (as expected), but she managed her first solo flight and all of the intricacies of international plane travel like the responsible adult she has grown into. Her trip got off to an inauspicious start when her flight from Miami to Buenos Aires was delayed by 12 hours (!), but the airline provided her with a hotel room and a meal for that overnight inconvenience. We all breathed a sigh of relief when Lucy landed safely in Argentina, finding her way to her homestay and a kind, motherly host who offered her tea and a cozy room. In these past two weeks, we’ve become extra-grateful for the easy communication offered through texting and video calls. (And now Lucy and Rosie are even on the number of countries they’ve each visited!)

Lucy at her local train station in Buenos Aires: “mi estación de tren!”

And so, Jon and I are learning how to be parents who send their child off on a study abroad program — something we’ve seen others do, but never experienced ourselves. I’m conscious of a curious sensation, as if I’m holding my breath, and I suspect that I’ll feel a little bit like that until Lucy returns on July 8. But mostly, we’re all thrilled at this incredible adventure Lucy is on — and we Chicago-Boyds are scheming some mini-adventures to undertake during these seven weeks. Along the way, we’ll keep riding our trains, praying for smooth transport and gentle conductors.

See you in July, Lucy!

Tidbits

Here are some things that are keeping me afloat in this season of not worrying about Lucy and her every little movement:

• Scandal. I have a history of leaning into intense and dramatic shows during times of stress, and I’m seeing that this trend continues. Outlander accompanied me during the pandemic, Grey’s Anatomy supported my challenging moments over the past year, and now Scandal seems to be the show du jour during this season of parenting across continents. I was drawn in through an interview with actress Kerry Washington, and now I’m completely hooked. You’ll find me watching on my phone while washing dishes, gasping at shocking moments and giving thanks that at least my problems aren’t that serious.

• Scented candles. I’ve long eschewed scented candles, finding most of them too fake or cloying for my sensitive sense of smell. But recently, I’ve found a few (including this favorite fir-scented classic) that don’t make me crazy. In fact, it’s solved the problem of cooking smells that linger on in our just-off-the-kitchen bedroom. It’s so nice to go to sleep without the odor of garlic and onions around me.

• Planning a staycation. In a few weeks, Rosie is heading off on her own adventure: a two-week summer program at Wheaton College to study vocal performance. Jon and I will be practicing our empty-nest lifestyle by taking the first week as a staycation. We’re making plans to explore all those nooks and crannies of Chicago we never get to — and we’re excited! Currently on the list: visiting the Jazz Showcase and seeing a show at the Neo-Futurist Theater. Send recommendations our way!